neglected my blog, super sorry heres whats going on.

today my brother tom comes in from WA headed to VA but decided to stop and see us one last time before we dont see him for awhile, i have a new boyfriend, named casey, my life is going good besides the stupid drama with stupid people. my other brother christopher is in WA as we speak join the army. and i never have time for computer or anything.on the up side i get to see my best friend and wifey in about 2 or 3 weeks, when ever i can come up with another $116. she lives in WA on the rez with a foster family cuz of stupid stuff, god i hate drama. its fucking stupid and pointless. but anyway im looking for a job, and starting school in the fall. still trying to adjust to life in ID and trying to make new friends im still loner i still sit in my room doing pretty much nothing, i clean all the time and try to find stuff to fill out my day. grr you know it sucks sometimes. im at a loss. i have a block in my brain. i cant write poetry right now. my mind is to cabobbled. you know what i mean...well yeah thats whats going on with me oh yes and fianancial problems. like always. booko bucks to pay on bills in WA and bills to pay here. it sucks because no one has a job we r living off my dads disability and retirement. well atleast i still have my phone you know talkins to people that way.

but i will try to write more im sorry for keeping you all out of the loop!

untitled poem....

so i hide inside my head with my web full of lies, i cant keep up with this chain around my neck, but i built it myself, with my bottle of sorrows,drinking away every possible tomorrow i lay awake, at night wondering why, why do i cry for those who have hurt and have been hurt as well, why cant they see through my eyes or i through theirs, i know why because pain can thrill you, kill you, maybe even scare you stupid, but in my mind its just a pack of smokes as i sit here and toke on my tobacco stogg. i wonder if they see me or right through me. my cigarette my only outlet my only thing its between you n me i wonder if ill ever be the person everyone else wants to see. what you see is what you get, I'm sorry I'm only human i didn't mean to kill you, maybe one day ill make sense and my mind wont be so boggled and my heart wont feel so broken but yet so full, someone loosen the chain and let me catch up with the world instead of living in my own fearful pain filled past.

ugh life

lol ok so the subjet sounds emo but im not emo im actually super happy, but also uber sick i hate summer colds, anyway, i found him the guy of well i hope my dreams he sweet nice my family loves im, and he doesnt hit me or make me feel bad about myself........yesterday my brother chris left for WA yeah i kno right the day before mothers day so NOT COOL am i right? well seriously im super tired, just felt bad for not w riting comment and stuff.,.....will write again tomorrow since i grounded to beb till im better